Sometimes we spend so much energy trying to fix everything.
We want every problem solved.
We want every relationship to work.
We want to feel confident.
We want difficult emotions to disappear.
But what if life is not about eliminating every problem?
I recently came across a video from Marc Manson, where he shared five lessons that have repeatedly come up through his work coaching people.
These ideas stood out to me because they can also be especially meaningful when life already feels complicated, including life after a brain injury.
🧠 1. Not Every Problem Has to Be Solved
One of the ideas Marc Manson shares is that not every problem in life is meant to be solved.
Sometimes we have to learn how to live with certain problems instead of constantly trying to eliminate them.
That can be difficult.
We naturally want answers.
We want things to go back to the way they were.
But some situations may require acceptance, adjustment, patience, or learning a different way of moving forward.
For someone living with a brain injury, this can be particularly meaningful.
Recovery does not always mean getting everything back exactly as it was.
Sometimes it means learning what works now.
It means finding new routines.
Finding new ways to manage energy.
Finding new ways to communicate.
Finding ways to live well while acknowledging that some things may still be difficult.
🛑 2. Boundaries Are About What You Will Do
Boundaries are often misunderstood.
We may think a boundary means telling another person what they are allowed or not allowed to do.
But Manson describes boundaries differently.
A boundary is about what you will do when someone does something that affects you.
You cannot always control another person’s behavior.
But you can decide what you will do in response.
For example:
“If this conversation becomes disrespectful, I will step away.”
“If I become overwhelmed, I will take a break.”
“If I am too tired to continue, I will say no.”
That can be an important distinction.
A boundary is not always about changing someone else.
Sometimes it is about protecting your own energy and well-being.
🌿 3. Stop Arguing With Reality
Another point Manson makes is that much of our suffering can come from fighting against reality.
This does not mean that we should never try to change difficult circumstances.
It means recognizing the difference between:
“This is what is happening.”
and
“This should not be happening.”
Sometimes we spend enormous amounts of energy wishing reality were different.
We may think:
“This shouldn’t have happened to me.”
“I shouldn’t be this tired.”
“I should be able to do what I used to do.”
Those thoughts are understandable.
But constantly fighting what has already happened can use energy that we could instead put toward what we can do next.
Acceptance does not mean giving up.
It can simply mean saying:
“This is where I am right now. What can I do from here?”
💗 4. Confidence Does Not Mean Having No Insecurities
Manson also makes an interesting point about confidence.
We sometimes imagine that confident people have no fear, doubt, or insecurity.
But confidence can look very different.
It can mean realizing:
“I can feel insecure and still take the next step.”
You don’t necessarily have to wait until you feel completely ready.
You don’t have to eliminate every doubt before trying something.
You can be nervous and still speak.
You can be uncertain and still try.
You can be afraid and still move forward carefully.
For someone recovering from a brain injury, that can be an important reminder.
Your confidence may not come from knowing that everything will go perfectly.
It may come from discovering:
“I can handle this moment.”
🌊 5. Your Emotions Get a Seat at the Table
This may be my favorite lesson.
Our emotions matter.
They deserve to be heard.
Anger can tell us something feels wrong.
Sadness can tell us something matters.
Fear can tell us that something feels unsafe or uncertain.
Frustration can tell us that we are reaching our limit.
But Manson makes an important distinction:
Our emotions can have a seat at the table without running the entire meeting.
That is especially useful when emotions feel intense.
We don’t have to ignore them.
But we also don’t have to let every emotion make every decision for us.
We can pause.
We can notice.
We can breathe.
We can ask:
“What am I feeling?”
“What is this emotion trying to tell me?”
“What do I want to do about it?”
That creates a little space between feeling and acting.
🌱 Life Does Not Have to Be Perfect to Be Good
These five lessons share something important.
Life will always have problems.
People will disappoint us.
Our bodies may change.
Our circumstances may change.
We may experience things we never expected.
And sometimes, we may simply have a difficult day.
We don’t have to solve everything today.
We can work with what is in front of us.
We can protect our energy.
We can set boundaries.
We can accept what we cannot change.
We can take action even when we feel uncertain.
And we can listen to our emotions without allowing them to make every decision.
💗 Love Love Brain Note
Brain injury can make emotions, energy, relationships, and everyday challenges feel more complicated.
You do not have to solve everything at once.
Sometimes the next step is simply noticing what is happening and asking:
“What can I control?”
“What do I need?”
“What can wait?”
“What is one small thing I can do from here?”
You are allowed to have problems that are still being worked through.
You are allowed to have difficult emotions.
And you are allowed to move forward imperfectly.
You don’t have to have everything figured out to keep going. ❤️
🎥 Video Credit
This blog post was inspired by a video from Marc Manson, who shares five lessons based on his experiences coaching people and teaching psychological tools.
Full credit goes to the original creator of the video and its content.
Do you Love Love YOUR Brain?