After a brain injury, life can feel full of contradictions.
I can feel grateful to be alive AND grieve the life I had before.
I can be healing AND still have difficult days.
I can love someone AND need stronger boundaries with them.
This is called dialectical thinking. It is at the heart of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, also known as DBT. Dialectics teaches us to move away from extreme, all-or-nothing thinking and recognize that two seemingly opposite ideas can both contain truth. (Behavioral Tech)
🧠 What Does Dialectical Mean?
Dialectical thinking reminds us:
🌎 Everyone experiences life from their own perspective.
🛤️ There is usually more than one way to solve a problem.
🔗 People, actions and environments affect one another.
🌱 Change is always happening.
⏳ Meaning and truth can evolve over time.
🆕 Each moment gives us new information and another opportunity to respond.
Instead of asking, “Which side is right?” we can ask:
“What truth exists on both sides?”
🔍 Look for Both Sides
When my brain becomes overwhelmed, it may jump to extreme words like:
❌ Always
❌ Never
❌ Everyone
❌ No one
❌ Completely ruined
Dialectical thinking helps soften these extremes.
Try changing:
“But” to “and.”
“Always” to “sometimes.”
“Never” to “not right now.”
For example:
❌ “I am recovering, but I still need help.”
❤️ “I am recovering, and I still need help.”
Both statements are true.
🦉 Ask Your Wise Mind
When you feel stuck, pause and ask:
“What might I be missing?”
You may still disagree with someone. You may still need to say no. You may still need to protect yourself.
Looking for another perspective does not mean abandoning your own truth.
It simply means allowing space for more information.
❤️ Dialectics in Brain Injury Recovery
These are some dialectical truths I am learning:
🧠 I am doing the best I can AND I can continue learning.
💪 I am strong AND I need support.
🌧️ I can have a terrible day AND still be making progress.
😡 I can be angry with someone AND still love them.
🪞 I can be frustrated with myself AND treat myself with compassion.
🫶 I can understand why someone behaved a certain way AND disagree with their behavior.
🚪 Someone may have a valid reason for asking something of me AND I have a valid reason for saying no.
🤍 I can accept myself as I am today AND work toward becoming healthier.
🏡 I can enjoy being alone AND still crave connection.
🗣️ I can share parts of my story AND keep other parts private.
🌦️ The day can be sunny AND it can rain.
⚖️ Important Opposites to Balance
Life is often about finding a healthier balance between:
🖤 Accepting reality AND working to change it
🤍 Validating yourself AND acknowledging mistakes
💼 Working AND resting
📋 Doing what you need to do AND making time for what you enjoy
🌱 Improving yourself AND accepting yourself today
🧩 Solving a problem AND accepting what cannot currently be solved
🌊 Regulating emotions AND allowing yourself to feel them
🙋♀️ Doing something independently AND asking for help
🔓 Being open AND maintaining privacy
👀 Watching and observing AND fully participating
🎁 Receiving from others AND giving to others
🌱 Practice Small Changes
Change can feel frightening after a brain injury, especially when our lives have already changed without our permission.
We can gently practice flexibility through small choices:
☕ Sit somewhere different.
🚶 Take a slightly different walking route.
🎵 Listen to something new.
🗓️ Adjust one part of your routine.
📝 Try a new way of organizing a task.
These small changes can remind the brain:
“Something can change, and I can still be safe.”
🍋 Making Lemonade Does Not Mean Pretending
Making the best of a painful situation does not mean the situation was fair, good or deserved.
It means asking:
“Given that this happened, what can I do with what remains?”
For me, Love Love Brain grew from this question.
I did not choose my brain injury.
I can grieve what happened AND use what I am learning to help another survivor feel less alone.
💗 A Gentle Reminder
You do not have to choose between being strong and being vulnerable.
You do not have to choose between acceptance and hope.
You do not have to choose between loving someone and protecting yourself.
Two things can be true.
Sometimes healing begins when we stop forcing ourselves to choose only one.
Love Love Thought ♥️♥️🧠
I can accept where I am today AND believe that tomorrow may be different.
Love Love Brain shares personal experiences and peer support. It is not a healthcare provider and does not replace professional medical or mental health care.
Do you Love Love YOUR Brain?